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"So your day begins like this
Wondering what might have been
Old regrets and chances missed
Borne away on some lambent wind
The job's ok, so it doesn't inspire
Thoughts of leaving it all behind
You used to have dreams of setting the world on fire
All you want now is peace of mind"
Every year, when we go to the mountains for two weeks, I read lots of books, and I come home resolving to keep reading at the same pace.
And, every year, we get busy, and it doesn't happen. Although sometimes, like this week, I can read two books (Tigerheart and Interworld) in three days because of extra dance rehearsals for daughter and time spent sitting in doctors' offices.
This used to bother me, but it doesn't anymore. Yes, things are so busy that I never get to all of the things that I want to do (for instance, I'm about ten years behind on photo albums)(not coincidentally, younger son is almost ten years old). I get stress-related health problems a few times a year - which bother me both in themselves and in that I have to slow down. There are so many things I'd like to do with older son, daughter, and younger son before they're off on their own.
So, I know that time spent reading has been replaced by time spent at Broadway dance with daughter, at choir with older son, reading out loud to younger son, hiking with older son, having long discussions after meals while the sun roams across the sky...
You do your running in shopping malls
You do your breathing the best you can
Between car pools and cell phone calls
Who cares, you'll never live in Paris
So what, you'll never travel by Lear
How do some of us learn what matters
While others never get to hear
And a beautiful racket, it whispers and roars
The bitter and sweet, between the truces and the wars
The noice and the quiet, the courage and the fear
And all of the wisdom between a smile and a tear
And I treasure it all. I'm very aware of the value of this time. Yes, it's busy, yes, it regularly stresses me out, but I know that, for all the activity and occasional hecticness, it is a "Beautiful Racket."
This is my favorite song on Mary Chapin Carpenter's album, Between Here and Gone. I'm amazed at how well she captures this stage of life. I've been meaning to put this on my blog for the last two years, but I've always been too busy in the fall to put a post about it together (and it's a fall song). I made time today.
So your day will end like this
Turning slowly down your street
Silent worlds of kitchens lit
Front yards full of fallen leaves
Trees are bare, the garden's done
Another season gone to earth
Before you blink a new one comes
To remind you what the old one's worth
And now, it's time to get off the computer. Dear husband has gone to see The Dark Knight with the older two. I'm not old enough to see that in the theater, and never will be, so younger son and I are going to watch the live Jungle Book.
[Photos from our walk at Ayr Mont last Sunday. The first one is mine; the second is older son's.]