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Comments

Carrie K.

Oh, Laura - you're not a bad mom to feel those things - you're a wonderful and honest mother. How could you not be sad/happy/worried/proud/afraid and everything in between? I cried just reading your post, and I've got years ahead of me before I go through this phase of our homeschooling journey. I watched one of my best friends deal with the sadness her children leaving home brought on - and she didn't even homeschool - and it took her a couple years to feel ready to embrace the new phase her life had entered.

You will be in my prayers, Laura - and thank you so, so much for your honesty. (Hugs)

DebD

I don't think you're a clingy mom for being sad. I think it is extremely normal. In fact, I'm a bit surprised that anyone would think that it is clingy to miss your kids. These have been the best years of my life and, while in some ways I'm ready to move on, I am not ready for all my little chicks to leave the nest.

I loved what you wrote here:
"For the last twenty-one years, I've thrown the majority of my energy, emotions, and considerable intellect into raising, homeschooling, interacting with, exploring with, advising, being pushed by, and loving, three wonderful human beings. I've always encouraged them to follow what they love - that's the largest reason for homeschooling - where it takes them.

Of course it will take them away. And, it will break my heart, because, of all the possible things I could envision (including being in Broadway musicals (grin)), I can't picture any "job" I could have had that I would love better than homeschooling. Being with three people I absolutely love, every day, talking about a wide variety of subjects,**** showing them the things I love, exploring what they love, getting through the things that neither of us care about,***** building layer upon layer of "in jokes," "in songs," shared books, movies, places, etc., watching as they grow - this engages my mind, my emotions, and my musical sensibilities. You can't come up with a job that's going to do more. No other job will ever involve this much of me - body,****** mind, and spirit. "

I agree completely.

Emily

Thanks for taking the time to write down what I'm feeling! ;-) Obviously with some names and dates and details different... if it helps you feel any better you are not alone in your emotions and I've talked with others who feel the same. Maybe next time the topic comes up be more honest & revealting in your answers and the person you are talking with might come clean about how they really feel too! :-)

GreenJello

Of course you will miss them! I'd wonder if you didn't. They've been such an integral part of your daily life for a very long time.

I'm excited for my kids to fly from the nest (for their sakes), but not for mine!

Karen-In-Law

I have never thought of you as a clingy mother. You've been building deep friendships with your kids and dreading the loss of daily interaction in those relationships seems natural and human to me. Parents who don't choose to homeschool might face a bit of that separation earlier, but I would have thought it would be understandable to anyone who enjoys the company of their kids. I'll face that in the fall when Noah starts school and I'll lose my main alone time with him. And I felt it when I lost that with Emma, too. There's a loss of intimacy then that saddens me. It can be created in other ways, but it will never be exactly as it was. I'm happy for how they grow as they move into their own worlds, but can't help but be aware of the impact on me.

Steve

And your writing here maybe helps me acknowledge and deal with my own dread of the loss. I hate so much to lose things that I can worry the whole time I have them. Silly, but I've always done it.

I see them less, since I go to work most days - in the evenings, mostly, and I feel with Oldest I'll still have most of that. So I don't feel his impending departure as much - but Daughter is another story. She's going to really leave. Ans she's in a particular spot in my heart, a place she went during that first hour when she slept in front of my face under that warm white blanket in the delivery room. And the spot has grown into a great country full of tall trees and very blue rivers all under warm golden sunlight. It will be cloudy there for the first time after she goes off to college...

M Light

Carrie: Thank you! Sorry for making you cry (hugs).

DebD: Thank you! That section just flowed out of me.

Emily: You haven't really mentioned it on your blog, but I could tell (grin).

GreenJello: Exactly!

Karen-in-law: Especially as they get older, it's more and more like friendship.

So, when older son heads off to NCSU, it's like he's getting on the big yellow bus for the first time? (grin) {{{{{}}}}'s about Noah - I'm never sure whether these things are more difficult with the first one or the last one.

Steve: Oldest will change so much the first few months - more than daughter will her first few, I think.

lisahgolden

I'm in awe of the balance you've achieved between parenting and everything else.

Every morning when I walk into the laundry room and see The Dancer's graduation gown hanging there in its garment bag, I have to choke back tears.

Ours has been a gradual slipping away since she got her driver's license and a job. She leaves in the morning and most evenings we don't see her again until after 9pm because of her busy work/dance schedule.

Still - it won't be easy. And with her departure from us and into her own life as a adult, our family changes, even if ever so slightly, it changes.

Let's just say I find myself lingering longer over my goodnight kiss and hug with her. And thank goodness she chose the school 2 hours away instead of 7 or 12 hours away!

Karen-In-Law

Let me add that there will be a big impact on Younger Son, too. I still remember when my two older siblings left the house, both near the same time. It was a great big hole and our remaining family dynamic had to grow to fill it. (Didn't matter that I rarely saw them out of their Lower Level Lairs.) M'Light and Steve are the oldest -- they haven't experienced that end of things before!

M Light

LisahGolden: (hugs) - that's a very vivid reminder.

I think something more gradual is at least a little easier. When older son was working 3 days a week, we got used to seeing much less of him. Since his job ended, we've gotten spoiled again.

I'm glad she chose the closer school. Daughter's preferred school is 3 1/2 hours away. Her second choice is an hour further so I'm hoping for the first.

Karen-in-law: I've wondered what it will be like for just three of us to be here - it's been 17 years since we've had that. This house will seem huge. You're right; I've never experienced it.

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